to Kenya I will go...

sometimes you just need to laugh

2007-08-04T12:57:00.000-06:00

my Kenya theme song

2007-07-27T06:31:00.000-06:00

Life is Beautiful by Vega4

Life is beautiful
We love until we die

When you run into my arms,
We steal a perfect moment.
Let the monsters see you smile,
Let them see you smiling.

Do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated.
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.

Yeah, life is beautiful.
Our hearts, they beat and break.

When you run away from harm,
Will you run back into my arms,
Like you did when you were young?
Will you come back to me?

I will hold you tightly
When the hurting kicks in.

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated,
we barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.

Stand where you are.
We let all these moments pass us by.

It's amazing where I'm standing,
There's a lot that we can give.
It's just ours just for a moment.
There's a lot that we can give.

you can hear it on their myspace page by clicking here and clicking the title of their song...

Why is it 1200 degrees in London?

2007-07-26T02:26:00.001-06:00

Hello readers!

We made it back from the safari safely yesterday (the 25th of July) and then had the most wonderful dinner back at the guest house with all our Kenyan friends. It was great to have dinner with Kwame, Nelson, Kim, Gloria and Marcus and the opportunity to reflect over our time in Kenya.

And in all honesty, I can't believe it's over.

I feel in a lot of ways that I just got there (though I'm sure my friends, family, and boss will disagree). I was just becoming comfortable in Nairobi and then had to leave.

And at the same time, I feel like I've been there forever. The relationships I established with our Kenyan friends was amazing. They are truly wonderful people and I'm grateful for Julius sharing his friends with us. To the guys, Kim, Nelson and Kwame...thank you...I love what you all brought to our group and can't wait to see where it takes us in the future...our trip would not have been the same without you there.

So, now I'm sitting in London, catching up on email and trying to not die of heat exhaustion. Jodi and I will be leaving soon for Philadelphia and then I will be running back to Sara when I get off the plane. I can't wait to see her face and I can't wait to spend the weekend with the W's and J just talking about everything.

Until I get home later tonight, I'm going to try to track down a fountain drink (seriously, what do people have against ice), listen to my Kenya song (it's Life is Beautiful by Vega 4) and simply reflect over the fact that we said goodbye to almost everyone (except Jenn) in a rush.

To 3 weeks that have changed my life, to a country and city I love, to children that I can't imagine not meeting, to 9 people who are friends in the states and to 3 who are friends in the homeland....thank you

Perhaps I'm a little angry

2007-07-21T02:38:00.000-06:00

This is funny, considering yesterday I was sad. We left Humura, after taking over 400 pictures of kids. Every kid we could imagine, we took pictures of. I actually can't wait to post them. Who knows how I will feel when I get home, but I'm hoping to get most of them up right away, especially after a shower and a load of laundry.

Anyway, back to the sadness. I didn't realize, or maybe didn't want to realize how hard it was going to be to leave these kids. For 2 weeks, as hard and sad as it was, they were my days. Getting bitten by a toddler, feeding Aaron, singing to the women, this is how my days were filled. I left the window open as we drove away yesterday, looking into eyes and faces of people I had seen for 2 weeks. I wanted to listen to my sad song, but just went over the lyrics in my head:

Shadowlands by Ryan Adams
God, please bring the rain
Yeah, and bring it soon
Let it flood right through the houses
Into Judy's room

With a father on amphetamines
Her mother hides the pearls
Reach out into the darkness
And find my little girl

'Cause she's angry like a salesman
That couldn't make a sale
Threw her wedding ring in the sewer
And damned them all to hell

Please lead her to the mountain
That you fashioned out of sand
While the roaches climb the walls
From the hotel where he calls

Most people never find a love
Most people never find a love
Sometimes you just can be a man
Sometimes you just can be a man
When your living in the darkness
Of the shadowlands
The shadowlands
The shadowlands

Last night after dinner, we sat around, looking through pictures and talking. We didn't have the energy to deal with what happened yesterday.

However, this morning I am angry.

We had decided that today, we would go to Kibera to help with a clean up project. It was disorganized (and not even Kenya disorganized). We stood around for 1.5 hours, waiting to be told what we would be doing. Once we started, we couldn’t do anything because we had too many people to help and when we would start doing something, we would be moved to another section. It was hard to feel accomplishment. However, that was when Jenn told me where all the trash we picked up was going. What I didn’t know was that all this trash was going to end up back in Dandora. That’s when I stopped.

I wasn’t about to continue the circle of making Dandora worse than it already is. Maybe that’s selfish, and if I’m known as the lazy American, I’m okay with that. But out of love for Julius, Emmanuel, and Julianna, I wasn’t going to participate.

What I appreciated about this morning (what Josie helped me process through later) was that it was cool to be with everyone in the midst of the clean up and see children take care of their community. I appreciated the opportunity to be with them all in the midst of the clean up, but it was hard to do nevertheless.

We left early, walking back to Nakumatt, soothing ourselves with Coke, chips and ice cream. I’ve listened to my angry song and I’ve cooled down a little bit, but I’m still angry and I’m ready to deal with the consequences. I had to stand up for something I believed in.

I really need the safari part of our trip. I’m ready to relax, maybe to the point of where I was at the Ritz in April. Maybe there I can figure out my next steps. I just know my life is forever changed due to my time here, I just don’t know what to do with it quite yet.

We don’t have access to internet (YIKES) while on safari, so I’ll be back in touch on Wednesday. Until then, my hope is for peace and relaxation because I definitely have a lot to consider.

why yesterday was long and tomorrow will be hard...

2007-07-19T07:11:00.000-06:00

Both Bri and Julius have been sick since at least Saturday (Julius a little before that). Sarah and I (and basically the whole group) encouraged them to go to the hospital and just make sure it wasn't anything serious. So yesterday morning, the 4 of us (Sarah, Julius, Bri and I) all went to a Nairobi hospital. For some odd reason, they had to go to the casualty section which I couldn't understand why someone would go there if they were alive...doesn't casualty mean dead? Thankfully, they are both fine (Julius has a sinus infection and Bri only has an upper respiratory infection).

Once we arrived in Huruma, I went to go play with the toddlers. And I don't know what was in the water this weekend with them, but they have been feisty all week long. I was bit twice yesterday, once on the arm and once on the eye. And it did hurt.

After we finished up at the orphanage, we left for Dandora. Dandora is another slum in Nairobi where Julius grew up. We were greeted by the children of another orphanage through song and were able to present 70 children with portraits that were done by artist back in the states. They loved it. We were able to take a walking tour of Dandora and then I saw the most horrific site I've ever seen. Next to the apartment that Julius grew up in is by the far the largest dump I've ever seen in my life. And while my words will do no justice to the sight that I saw (kids playing next to it, people looking for things in it) my heart broke to know that the Kenyan government looks the other way while this continues on.

Once we left, we were stuck in traffic for over 2 hours. We finally got back to the house late last night and had to remind each other that we started off the day at the hospital.

Today wasn't anything out of the ordinary. We had the afternoon off and dinner is shortly. Tomorrow, though, is a different story. Tomorrow is our last day at the orphanage. Tomorrow is the last day I will have Collins tackle me as I walk through the doors, feed Aaron, walk 5 toddlers to school, hold Sheva in my arm and pinch her cheeks. Tomorrow I will walk away from the orphanage knowing that my life has been changed because of these kids. A doctor was in the infant room yesterday and saw all of us holding the babies and he told Jodi that we were doing the best thing for these kids. Even though they are malnourished and need sunlight and warm clothes, by our love, these kids are getting more than they could ever need.

We'll probably sit around tomorrow drinking Tusker and crying over these kids that we love and want to bring back. Thankfully we have an easy evening tomorrow too...I don't think any of us will be ready to jump back into anything quite yet.

Packing food and staying back

2007-07-17T03:31:00.001-06:00

After arriving back in Huruma after the weekend, I realized I was excited to see my toddlers. Learning more and more of their names and how they react to seeing me, it's definitely the highlight of the day. I was able to help them get dressed and walked them to school. I sat in the room for a few minutes, but since we were short 4 people yesterday, I went to serve lunch in the handicap room. Collins ran towards me to greet me with a hug and Thomas wanted to do the hokey pokey with me. I love that they also look forward to us being there every day.

I fed Aaron yesterday. Aaron is a boy who doesn't say much and doesn't really focus on much, but always gives me the biggest smile. Feeding him, watching him smile is always the best part of my day, no matter how hard it is to be in the room.

Last night, Nelson and Kym came over to help us bag food. Through one of the other trip attenders sponsors, she was able to provide rice, lentils, sugar, salt, coffee and matches to 370 Huruma families. We packaged it all up and it's being handed out today.

Why am I not there today? Well, there has been a bug flying around our room and while I haven't caught the chest congestion, my stomach has been giving me issues. I wanted to rest and relax today and that's exactly what I did. Bri, who is feeling sick, stayed back too and we walked to Nakamutt (aka: Wal-Mart for Kenya) and had lunch. Now we are going back to rest some more before more shopping this afternoon.

So, here's to rest and relaxation and hopefully feeling better by tomorrow.

I feel so dirty

2007-07-15T09:15:00.000-06:00

Today, we left Nairobi to head toward Lake Nakuru. We stopped at a market along the way, but since it was freezing (supposedly the highest point in Nairobi) we didn't stay long. Making our way to the lake was bumpy and hard at times but the view of baboons, zebras, and sheep along the side of the road made the trip easier.

Maria Dorsey, you will be so jealous of my day.

Once we entered the park, we saw millions of flamingos. They were beautiful and noisy but when you saw them from afar, it seemed like little islands off the lake. It was majestic. Our car was about 5 feet from 4 white rhinos. A family of giraffes passed right in front of our car. Imagine your best trip to the zoo, and then realize it's fully possible in Africa to be inches away from the animals. However, with the wind, dust, and all the flying particles from the road, I feel disgusting...I REALLY HOPE THERE IS HOT WATER WHEN I GET HOME TONIGHT (some people who stayed last night took 3 30 minute showers this morning, leaving us no hot water today). Today made me so excited for the safari, which we start next Sunday.

Wow...in 1 week, I'll be on a puddle jumper to head to safari. To stay in a exquisite resort where they have 1 staff member for every guest. To be pampered and to relax (yes, I'm getting a pedicure and massage if possible). And even as I type that I know I'll feel guilty in the midst of it all. Going from one extreme to another is a hard thing for me. But I'm hoping that the rest, relaxation and peace will allow me to process my trip. I know even if we left the orphanage and flew straight home, I'd still feel the pang of guilt. I think I will experience it even when I get home. But it's a healthy guilt, one that leads to change and one that causes growth. And those pangs I'm always grateful for.

Elephants and Giraffes and car sickness, oh my!

2007-07-14T06:44:00.000-06:00

After some crazy Americans checked into our guest house last night, which caused a lack of sleep, we got up this morning excited for what the day held.

On the first part of our trip, we went to an elephant orphanage, where (oh, that's right) I was able to pet 7 baby elephants. It was so neat. They were adorable, playing around in the field, kicking around a soccer ball and basically being toddlers. I was petting one of them when I felt a push from behind. I thought it was the crowd trying to push their way through and then I realized it was another elephant. I felt like I was at the zoo, but one that rehabilitated the elephants so that they can be reintegrated into the wild.

After we finished there, we went to the giraffe center. We were able to feed giraffes and pet them. They are not only beautiful, they are soft and sweet (unless you don't feed them then they will head butt you). I was able to feed one out of my mouth, so I totally got a giraffe kiss today!

We finally were on our way to do some shopping (I still need to buy at least 10 more gifts) when we realized that our driver was lost...completely lost. We saw parts of this town that I've never even thought were possible to see. Finally, 2 hours later, we arrived at our destination, with just enough time to eat and email.

I told Josie (our trip leader) that even though we were busy all day long, it actually seemed like a relaxing day...except that my face is a little rough from that sloppy kiss...

grateful

2007-07-13T08:21:00.000-06:00

I'm always grateful for all the emails I get to remind me that I'm doing more than my part while being here in Kenya. It's hard, I was never doubting it would be. There are just moments when it seems harder than I expected.

However, I wanted to answer some of the questions I get on a regular basis:

How's the food? This is by far the most common question and with my sensitive stomach (as my friend BAC says) it was perhaps the most scary thing about the trip. Breakfast includes fresh fruit like I've never tasted before...pineapples, watermelon, bananas...all delicious. I usually have cornflakes and some fruit. Lunch has been provided through Julius' sister Julianna who lived in Italy since she was 18 so it's been tasty. Dinner has varied from tilapia to chicken to meatballs. I always try a little something and it's been good.

What about your living accommodations? So, we are staying in this fabulous guest house. We have running water, hot water, toilets, electricity. I am in a room with 3 other girls, so we are staying in bunks. There is a common room, the dining room, and an outside patio. It's safe and warm and a lot nicer than I thought.

What time is it there? Depending where you are, I'm either 9 hours (Denver) or 8 hours (KC, Chicago, etc) ahead of you. Currently, it's 5:30 pm.

What are the people like? Incredibly warm and friendly. They have a great spirit about them and are incredibly kind to us mzungu.

What's the weather like? Isn't it miserable like July in the states? NO! It's actually cool here right now because we are in winter. The Kenyans are thinking it's a lot colder than it feels, but it's winter. Highs are only in the 70's or 80's and the lows are in the 50's. So in a lot of ways, it's similar to Denver in the fall.

Mosquito's? There have to be mosquito's? You really don't see them much in Nairobi, but when we go on safari, we'll see them there. So, I'm continuing my malaria pills which have given me hilarious dreams (Like watching a new fall show staring Michael J. Fox, with a similar plot line to Desperate Housewives, yet drawn like Simpson's characters or the one where I was shopping at Old Navy).

Thanks for the continuous thoughts and prayers. We are busy tomorrow with the elephant orphanage and the giraffe center and the lake on Sunday. Hopefully Monday's blog will hold exciting stories from the weekend!

so here I am

2007-07-12T06:14:00.000-06:00

Last night when I put my ear plugs in, all I could hear were the cries of the babies. 15 babies crying, at the same time. Had I dwelled on that sound alone, I wouldn't have gotten any sleep last night. It was so overwhelming that I almost took my ear plugs out and put my music back on.

Today, I couldn't handle being in the handicap room. Again, I was overwhelmed and spent about 15 minutes total there. I wanted to hide, simply because of my own fear. Fear that I have no idea what I am doing and it makes me uncomfortable. The grunts, the smells, the drool, all make me want to run and hide. And all I really wanted to do today was curl up with the book I am currently reading, listen to my iPod and hide.

I also couldn't handle the toddler's play time today. I sat in their room, watching the teacher pull out toys for these kids to play with. Imagine the toys you had when you were growing up. There always seemed to be a plethora. She has 27 kids and not enough toys for each one. And some of them aren't even toys. It's a bucket and a stick. It broke my heart. I felt like I should go to the store and buy enough for each. Their eyes pierce my soul, as if I'm the solution to their problems. They freaked out today when I broke out bubbles, something so simple bringing them so much joy.

I often wonder what my life will be like when I get back to Denver. I'm looking forward to my bed, my house, Illegal Pete's, the Bull and Bush, camping, clean air. I have so much, and these kids have so little and yet they are still excited over bubbles. I wonder if the lesson of simplicity is really what I am learning here. I have more than enough at home and could it be possible that I don't need any more iTunes songs, movies, meals out. But putting that expectation on the trip now could possibly ruin it for me. I need to let go and let what happens happen.

Collins, one of the boys in the handicap room, is always looking out for everyone else's needs before his own. What if I became more giving in that way? Not in a unhealthy way, through codependency or anything, but simply allowing people to go before me, listening more, giving where needed...

I don't know...these are all the things running through my head right now and all I want to do is sleep...damn hiding.

when crazy americans strike

2007-07-11T08:14:00.000-06:00

This morning as we were driving to Huruma, my friend Sarah (who cannot pronounce the H in Houston) spent the time yelling out the window "I love you friend" in Swahili. She also did it on the way out, which our new friend Kim thought was the funniest thing ever.

Have you ever walked with 3 toddlers in your possession? I had one in each and and another one grabbing the inside of my pants. It was, perhaps, the hardest part of walking today.

I haven't cried at Huruma since our first day there, when I was caught of guard. I'm still sadden and angry that the sisters are keeping a girl separated from the toddlers because she can't communicate and that Collins, one of the handicapped children isn't allowed in regular class (or class at all). There are injustices in every corner. And for me, a fighter of injustice, it's hard to sit there and not do anything. So, I choose to love, to be love for these kids and I dance with Collins and walk at least 3 toddlers to school every day.

A little bit of me doesn't know what to say, in all honesty. I want to describe the overwhelming smell that is in the handicap room that leaves me gagging when I first walk in. I want to describe the 20 toddlers that maul me every morning. I want to show you and have you understand the smell and sights of Humura and what it's like being a minority for the first time in my life. So, now that I'm a little out of words, I'll hope you forgive me for not sharing more...it's not that I don't want to, but I just can't find the words to share right now.

We have a car and you don't...haha

2007-07-10T05:33:00.000-06:00

With our windows down, Julius yelled this to a couple of mzungu (basically translating to white persons). Hearing it the first thing this morning was perhaps the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Day 2 of the orphanage...Yesterday, I was so devastated by not getting any time with the toddlers, so I decided that I would start there today. I helped change them into their school clothes, and walked another group up to the school. There is one little girl, named Rene, who clings to me as tightly as she can. Her face is such the face of God to me and every time I look into her eyes, there is so much of me that wants to bring her home with me. I found out that I can spend more time with them tomorrow while they are at school, which makes me really excited. I held a few babies (specifically Roderick, my strong man) and then was asked to help during feeding time in the disabled room. No matter how much I think I'm okay with it, it still breaks my heart. I don't see that as a bad thing, I'm just hope-filled that a difference can be made.

We ended the day again with the women, singing and playing limbo. That room just feels hopeful and warm and it's always the best way to end the day. Sister Bernadette loves to sing with us and enjoys our energy and what we bring to the women in that room.

It's interesting to me because every time I enter Huruma, it does make me sad. The slums, the trash, the overwhelming sense of despair is always there. However, there is also an overwhelming sense of hope. I have to imagine that there are pockets of hope, that a difference can and will be made. But if I dwell on the fact that live is hard and overwhelming at times, I will miss the chance to see what beauty is there and is happening.

Last night our travel agent came to speak to us about two possibilities during our free time. One is taking a hot air balloon ride over the savanna and enjoying the sunrise and a champagne breakfast. If it was cheaper than $450 and longer than an hour, I would totally do it. The other thing he mentioned was going to Lake Nakuru. Here we will be able to see millions of flamingos (come to find out, they do fly) and rhinos. Supposedly, we won't see these on our safari in a couple of weeks, so we are taking advantage of this trip. It's about a 2 hour drive from Nairobi and we are doing it on Sunday. I can't wait! What a way to spend the day relaxing!!

I also talked to my p's last night on the phone. It was great to hear their voices and let them know I am doing well and I really am here. And no, I still haven't found a prince.

As for tonight, I'm hoping to get to bed early so that I can rest. All of it, the travel, the kids, the women, really takes it out of me and I'm hoping that sleeping in on Saturday will be helpful.

giving back

2007-07-09T05:21:00.000-06:00

Today was our first day at the orphanage. I wanted to start off slow, so I headed into the infants room. Who doesn't want to hold a baby and tell it is loved and wanted and known? I spent an hour in there, moving from baby to baby, making them laugh and smile. then I headed into the toddler room. I love toddlers. Their energy and joy is so overwhelming. I had 20 of them attacking me, all wanting a little bit more of my attention. I walked 5 of them to school, all of which wanted a hand to hold, so fingers would have to suffice. After walking them to their classroom, I had a choice.

I was hesitant at first, but then I walked into the women's room, wanting just to be with these beautiful women. What I realized is that because of the language barrier, I wasn't able to stay long. These women asked questions and wanted answers, but I couldn't give it to them. So I wandered into the disabled room. I was so fortunate to walk in when I did. I was able to play with Columbo and Colin and feed Fiona. I loved it. Every moment was beautiful. I can't believe that our first day is over.

This afternoon will be spent resting, reading and exchanging money. Hopefully a nap and some more good laughs are in order.

There are still moments when I can't believe I'm here. In this country that is so beautiful and warm, I'm slowly finding healing and realizations that seemed to come so hard in the states. Perhaps it's the lack of distractions and lack of busyness that allows for things to come faster.

2007-07-08T07:38:00.000-06:00

Good afternoon from Kenya!

This morning, Bri, Julius, Edna and I all went to church. It wasn't anything I've ever experienced. The joy, the beauty, the excitement was amazing. And it wasn't in a building, it was in a tent. But somehow they had a screen in there. It reminded me a little of Axis.

After eating my first full meal in Kenya (the food isn't terrible, but I won't lie, I miss illegal petes, and just normal food and ice) we wandered around a market where I was picking up ideas for gifts. Now we are checking email and going back to rest soon. Today really has been a day of rest, which is good in light of tomorrow.

Tomorrow we start working. There is a little bit of fear out of the language barrier. There is a fear that I won't be enough, and I know I'm not enough, but still if I'm the only person this year playing with these kids and loving on them, i want to give it my all.

Come back tomorrow and see how it goes...one can only guess.

2007-07-07T06:52:00.000-06:00

Currently, I'm exhausted. Not just the exhuasted of jet lag, but that deep exhaustion that often leaves you so tired that even sleep won't help.

We landed yesterday evening and once all the bags were collected, we traveled to the guest house. The beds were so comfortable, the sleep so sound, even the bird that awoke me didn't bother me.

Today, we traveled to the orphanage where we will spending our time. We drove through parts of town that are hectic and then through the part of towns you would never imagine living. We started our tour in the handicap room and my heart broke. The tears ran down my face and not out of pity.

Someone once told me that they didn't have to love or be kind to the grocery store bagger, the person who swept the movie theater because he didn't have the capacity. As I stood in that room today, what I realized is he is a selfish bastard. You can't choose to love one person and hate another because you don't have the capacity. You love all...simple enough. You might give more to some than you do others, but you love all. I thought about this man and whether or not he would love these children. All they want is someone to stare into their eyes, take them outside and love on them. Since he refuses to have the capacity to love, I, in turn, make the decision to love fully, extravagantly. I was sadden that people like him choose not to love all and that my love wouldn't be enough for these kids either. But for the next 2 weeks, it will all I can give.

So now, I'm off to take a nap and read. I'm doing lots of reading and then sit around and chat this evening. Living in the balance of what happens next and whatever happens happens is hard place for me stay, but in this land, that's all you can do.

TOMORROW

2007-07-04T08:13:00.000-06:00

I'm currently celebrating the 4th of July by cleaning my house and doing laundry. If that doesn't say God Bless America, I don't know what does.

Actually later, I'm going to a BBQ and to watch fireworks. But today, most of today, is focused around me packing, checking, double checking that I am truly ready to go. And even as I type that, a pit grows in my stomach. I'm nervous, excited, and ready...I think I'm ready.

So, this time tomorrow, I'll be at the airport waiting to board a plane for Kenya (well, first Boston, then London, then Kenya). But before then, I must get back to work.

And the next time I post, it will be from Kenya...and that doesn't even seem real.

In 7 days

2007-06-27T18:15:00.000-06:00

In 7 days, I'll be packing for a trip that I've been anticipating for months.

Currently, I have a house that is looks like a disaster and I need to clean it. I know that it should be cleaned, but I'm saving that for the 4th. I mean, doesn't that sound like the best 4th plans ever?

I also have a list of things I have to do between now and then. Not only at home, but also at work. And probably the fact that I stayed home sick for most of the day doesn't help the situation.

But between now and then, before the night I can't fall asleep, before I say good-bye to my friends, before I pack as well as I can, I'm trying to enjoy now, this weekend, good beer and cooler temps.

And in all honesty, I can't wait for next Wednesday...

24 days

2007-06-11T09:12:00.000-06:00

Since I am leaving in 24 days for Kenya and this was my Far Side for today, I thought it would be appropriate to post. I just hope it doesn't happen to us while we are there.

what the end feels like

2007-05-18T21:22:00.000-06:00

On May 1st, I had to turn in all my money for my trip. 2 weeks after the flight money was due, I needed to turn in the rest.

I have amazing supporters. Friends from all parts of my journey, family members, real estate agents...I was amazed and surprised and forever grateful for every person who donated, considered donated, prayerfully decided to give. People who gave were so generous in their donations. Thanks to every single one of them, without you, I could not have gotten to the place I ended up in.

At the end of the day, I needed to donate $1400 for the trip (thank you Uncle Sam). And while the chip-in might be done, I am still accepting donations. Checks are always appreciated because there are still a few things I need for my trip. Should you have a desire to give, please email me to discuss the options.

I leave in 47 days...it's so close and so far away in the same breath. I just got my visa and passport back today, so I'm officially cleared to go. As Saint Teresa of Avila once said "The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too." And I'm grateful that God has been there...because I know He'll be there in July as well and I can't wait to see what happens.

An update

2007-04-30T20:39:00.000-06:00

So, tomorrow the rest of my money is due for my trip.

Thankfully, to all my supporters who gave above and beyond what they needed to, my portion of the trip is only costing me $1400. However, I'm still accepting donations because there are still things to pay for like shots and visas and the such.

If you would like to give, I'm accepting checks at this time. Please email me if you are interested in giving.

Many thanks go out to those of you who gave and to those who prayerfully bathed me these last couple of weeks. They were felt in more ways than you know.

I'll continue to update this blog between now and my trip, with pictures when I get back.

66 days till I leave...I can't wait!!

86 days

2007-04-10T15:10:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that I leave for Kenya in 86 days.

In 86 days, my life will be changed forever.

In 86 days, my friendship with Bri will go to a whole new level.

However, in 21 days, all of my money is due for my trip. And if I were Bri, this wouldn't be an issue. But for me it is.

I have 17 days till I need to transfer all of my money out of my account and write a big check. And I'm still needing to raise $2,100. I'm willing to put it on my credit card or dip into the savings I have, but still that's a lot of money.

I'm confident it will happen, in some fashion, but if you are contemplating giving, please visit my site before the 17 days are up and donate to my trip. Because when you give, you come with me on my trip...and I'd love to have you there.

$3275

2007-03-25T17:39:00.000-06:00

I just received my final tab for the trip and this is how much I have left to raise.

I often fear that I'm not going to make it. My friend Bri is a rockstar and only has like $380 left to raise. She's kicking ass and taking names as she gets all of her funds in way before she even has to.

I'm trying to remain faithful, that it will all come together, but sometimes it's hard to remember...

So, still looking for donors...near and far.

I'm feeling that I could get desperate really quick and I don't want to be desperate.

Reminder on How to Give

2007-03-12T08:54:00.000-06:00

First of all, thank you for wanting to support me in this endeavor. I am truly grateful.

There are two ways to give...

BY CREDIT CARD:
The first is by clicking the red box to the right. It will take you to the PayPal website.

BY CHECKS:
Please make the check out to Soulfari Kenya and have my name in the memo bar.

Please email me for information on where to send the check.

Enteraction: Africa

2007-03-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

Since I really haven't found a church here in Denver that I love, I've been attending a few. One of them sent me the website to Enteraction: Africa.

It's an entire evening on learning more about Africa. Understanding the conflict in Darfur, talking about the AIDS pandemic, development of resources for Africans and the church and Africa...who knows what will be stirred up in me, but hopefully it's something that pushes me into falling in love with my trip to Kenya.

Learn more about the evening here...

The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give. -- Walt Whitman

2007-02-21T11:15:00.000-07:00

One would think after fundraising for 3 years, I would get use to this...the waiting, the wondering, the stress, the confusion. And yet, every time, it's a new experience.

I stand in awe in the people giving to my trip. I feel so loved through their generosity. Surprises in the faces who give, in the amounts they give, why they give. Having their support continues to push me to give as much as possible while I am in Kenya.

There are moments when I wonder, if I will go, what will happen to me while I am there, what will be broken, what will be resurrected, what will die and what will live. And while it's easy to stand in the fear of knowing and not knowing, for me, it only pushes me towards love. How can I love more here, how can I love more when I get to Kenya. What does it mean in light of my journey.

So, to my supporters, thank you...you are helping me realize a dream, which is an indescribable feeling.

Why stress just might kill me...

2007-02-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I take on too much at once...I've never been someone with killer patience. I often want to do more than I can.

Case and point...

Buying a townhouse....Last night, as I sat around with my beautiful friends, we realized what this opportunity means for all of us. A space for us to grow into, where we can be comfortable and relaxed with each other. And what it means for me...it's going to be an amazing opportunity.

Moving up in my career...beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Having people recognize what I am capable of is always a good thing...changing positions, probably not ideal in the midst of everything.

Kenya...I'm nervous about making my fundraising goals. I shouldn't be, I know that the trip is suppose to happen and I'm suppose to be on it. I feel it in my gut, but what if? What if I can't do it? What if I can't find the money? Maybe it's a bad idea...(I know it's not, but this is a thought that is running through my head).

Anyways, I'm hoping my attitude changes before New Orleans because I want to enjoy my time...but I'm also hoping that stress isn't real and that everything will eventually come together. Until then, I think I'll go get some coldstone.

Do the (RED) Thing

2007-01-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

My friend Frank wrote recently on how the (RED) manifesto might actually be something that could change the world.

The (RED) manifesto states, in not so many words, that if you buy a (RED) product, you are in fact helping the AIDS pandemic in Africa. And who wouldn't want to help stop that? I received a (RED) razor for Christmas, in part because I needed a new phone, and in part for my trip to Kenya.

I don't know what is being stirred in me, but I want to help this pandemic. I believe that we could change the world if we saved Africa (and I don't mean the evangelical Christian definition of saved either).

So, what can you do? You can buy a (RED) product, you can support me on my trip to Kenya, and ultimately, you can figure out how save the Continent of Africa before it's gone.

Buy (RED).

Kansas City Star

2006-12-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

My dad sent me this article this morning, regarding Soulfari Kenya and an event they held recently.

I also received my first donation from my real estate agent. Many thanks go to Sean for his donation! I believe this trip is becoming a reality!

to Kenya I will go...

2006-11-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

Imagine one of your greatest dreams...to be a world traveler, to invent something extraordinary, to make a difference.

Now imagine if it could come true...

For me, my dreams are about to become my reality.

About 2 months ago, my friend Bri told me about how she would be able to get back to Kenya this next summer. She told me about what she would be doing there. She told me that I should look into it. Of course I've always wanted to go, to see something bigger than myself. However, my first response to her was no. There was no way I could go. How would I do it financially, relationally, work-wise? For me, in major decisions, I turn to fear first and then realize what is and is not possible.

So Bri sent me the website. And I looked, and what I found was something I couldn't pass up.

So, from July 5-26, 2007 I, too, will be going to Kenya. For the first part of the trip, I'll be working with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity, which consist of a school and a residential home for over 150 abandoned or orphaned women and children. The second part will be with Villa Teag Children's Center which consist of a school and residential facility for children who no longer have parents to care for them. The last part of my trip will include a safari and rest to re-enter a world that I probably won't recognize.

This site is to help you, and possibly help me. Here you can find more about my process of going, here how I am prepping and what it's like upon my return.

You can also help me realize my dream. In order for me to go, I need to raise $5,000 (which includes everything from my flights to my food). Fundraising opportunities are to the left. Donations, in any fashion, are always accepted.

The links to the left will help you navigate through this page...Look for answers in these sections:
How to Give
FAQs
Other sites (learn about my trip, who I am going with, etc)
Pictures

Feel free to contact me about my trip. I'd love to tell you more about my process. Look for an update soon!

How to Give

2004-12-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

First of all, thank you for wanting to support me in this endeavor. I am truly grateful.

There are two ways to give...

BY CREDIT CARD:
The first is by clicking the red box to the right. It will take you to the PayPal website.

BY CHECKS:
Please make the check out to Soulfari Kenya and have my name in the memo bar.

Please email to find out where to send the checks.