Currently, I'm exhausted. Not just the exhuasted of jet lag, but that deep exhaustion that often leaves you so tired that even sleep won't help.

We landed yesterday evening and once all the bags were collected, we traveled to the guest house. The beds were so comfortable, the sleep so sound, even the bird that awoke me didn't bother me.

Today, we traveled to the orphanage where we will spending our time. We drove through parts of town that are hectic and then through the part of towns you would never imagine living. We started our tour in the handicap room and my heart broke. The tears ran down my face and not out of pity.

Someone once told me that they didn't have to love or be kind to the grocery store bagger, the person who swept the movie theater because he didn't have the capacity. As I stood in that room today, what I realized is he is a selfish bastard. You can't choose to love one person and hate another because you don't have the capacity. You love all...simple enough. You might give more to some than you do others, but you love all. I thought about this man and whether or not he would love these children. All they want is someone to stare into their eyes, take them outside and love on them. Since he refuses to have the capacity to love, I, in turn, make the decision to love fully, extravagantly. I was sadden that people like him choose not to love all and that my love wouldn't be enough for these kids either. But for the next 2 weeks, it will all I can give.

So now, I'm off to take a nap and read. I'm doing lots of reading and then sit around and chat this evening. Living in the balance of what happens next and whatever happens happens is hard place for me stay, but in this land, that's all you can do.